Life Update: I moved house
So its been a month since I last posted anything and a really long time since I've just sat down and wrote a 'Dear Diary' kind of, life update post.
A lots happened this year. I moved from Chester, where I lived for nearly 10 years, since I was 18, to back home in Bristol. I did this for many reasons but mostly I did it because I just wasn't happy. Partly due to my surroundings, partly in myself. I've been battling with my mental health for over 12 years and I got to a point where I wasn't consistently depressed like I had been a few years ago. But I would have a few good days and then some really low days and it would go around in a pattern like that. I didn't want to go back onto antidepressants because I fought so hard against the side effects of stopping taking them that it felt like a failure. I think if I had felt low all the time I wouldn't have minded but I had some good days so I felt like there was hope.
Anyway I moved home. I didn't really tell anyone other than immediate friends I contact daily and other than some drinks with work friends I didn't really do any big goodbyes. I used to do this a lot on nights out, a term I think is known as an Irish goodbye. Where I would just sneak off into the night. I'm not big on goodbyes.
So I moved home and began looking for a job which I found tough. I was lucky, I had always fell into jobs I loved instantly and never had jobs I hated from the get go. I started one place and just had a bad vibe, so left after a day. In hindsight the recruiter I went through really rushed me into a decision and I didn't trust my instincts. I then did a temporary job, which I also didn't like and went to a dozen interviews, all of which I got offered might I add but some of the interviews were just awful. And then I got the job I'm in now, which I really love. But for a while it felt like I had made the worst mistake of my life.
I then began going to therapy to heal the part of myself that antidepressants couldn't quite get to. Therapy is honestly one of the best decisions I ever made and my therapist was amazing and really helped me through everything. I talked a little more about that in this post.
I also was living with my dad, which after years of living independently I really struggled with. He also hasn't lived with any of his children for a while so he definitely didn't enjoy the experience either. And then after 6 months, I finally found/could afford my dream flat, that I moved into a couple of weeks ago. I'm still not fully unpacked, I kind of have a corner of stuff that just doesn't have a place but I love it and I'm so content to have my own space again.
I think sometimes you go through things as life lessons that you carry with you forever. I still to this day cherish my evenings after working in a hospitality job for nearly 5 years where I always worked evenings, I also didn't have lunch breaks for 3 years of that and now I'm reminded how amazing it is to have my own space. I've spent most days I'm here baking or just basking in my favourite past time; sitting and watching tv surrounded by candles.
I'm hoping to get back to writing more posts, but I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm usually active daily on social media so feel free to follow me on any of the platforms below.